What I want to BE?

Hello my readers. Here I am again. Back to this little blog of mine. Well, it's year end again! 

Christmas is coming! 

When it's nearing the end of the year, here comes the thought of new year resolution. (I haven't thought of my new year resolution, hahahah so I wouldn't be blogging about new year resolutions)

I am here to brat (HAHAHAHHA as usual)

Yesterday, someone woke me up not as in that waking up but.... And got me thinking about .....dreams? 

Dream. Dreams. What a word is it. Anyone care to explain?

They said, dreams. 

Dreams and dreams. 

(The more I type this word the more strange I feel, even doubt about the spelling) 

To be honest what is dream? 

According to Meriam Webster dictionary I downloaded in my phone, it says,

-a series of thoughts, visions or feelings that happens during sleep

-an idea or vision is created in your imagination and that is not real

-something that you have wanted very much to do, be or have for a long time 

I guess I am talking about the third meaning. I am surprised by how the this e-dictionary define dream. 

Great, I'm lost. Because I don't know what I really want in life. Or the future life. What I want to contribute to the people. What I want to do with my mundane life. 

Someone told me, "if I don't have a job now, if I don't have anything to do," what will I be doing? 

Hmmm. Deep thoughts. I thought I don't have a definite answer but I was thinking, "maybe I will be writing. A lot of writings. Or drawing." 

Once in a while, I thought of becoming an author because I love to write. As in why I have this blog, because I love to produce good articles and let people to read. I Love to write a lot of things. But becoming an author doesn't pay you every month. I can't! I'm stuck with my study loans and so on. Maybe I should think of other way. (HAHAHAHHA I feel bad writing this because I abandon my blog for such a long long time because...well, life!)

Writing needs experience. Where to find them? I wanted to publish a book but hell, I have no idea what to write.

Well, the bf said, "Start it, just start it. He said, you just need to write, even a paragraph. Every day, then you just need a title for your book. LOL! I can't do that because I need a good reason to start my book! Nobody is gonna read my book. 

Maybe I need to go experience something bigger by my own to get that experience.