Monday, September 25, 2017

Last quarter of the year

This year has been an amazing year to me. rather, learning year.

I bought a car, applied for a car loan, getting the feeling of driving here and there by myself in a land where I have no parents, no siblings, no relatives, just mere me. I grew up all along this year. Slowly, I turned into a young adult.

Turning into a 24 year old lady rather taught me things about life. Sometimes, I wonder what should I do to make my life better, because I feel empty. I felt empty inside because everyday was work and work and work. Its just work for ... a paycheck. I wanted to do more, things that I can feel that I am important whether its work, or elsewhere.

Sometimes, when I am alone, I tend to do things I love, like blogging. I always wanted to be a good blogger with many loyal readers. I want to be known to people on the streets. but how?

My boyfriend has been supportive as usual. He is struggling too, like me.

I know many has been questioning the usual inner self, what does life mean to you?

Me too.
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Thursday, April 06, 2017

Its been a year...

How fast the time traveled through?

I am here.


Its 6 April 2017.

Have been working for exactly a year. for now, a year +.

Stepping into adulthood is not easy, though. Especially the waking up part.

You cannot laze on the bed for minutes after minutes because if you do so, you gotta have a bad record. If you are responsible enough towards your job, you will not allow yourself to do so.
Proudly to say, within this one year, I was never late for work :P

I learnt how to be independent, totally. hahahhaha. without the help of my mrh.
Sometimes when he offered to help me, like sending me for work and all, i was touched. and also how he gave the best food on the table for me.

I was sick. not long ago. he was there for me. luckily. its not easy to be alone when you are sick.

I broke down and he calmed me. [only you and I know]

Just here to keep an update for myself :D XOXO time to sleep! hahahhaha! Can't wait for our 5th anniversary photoshooting! I told mrh, I just want a photoshoot to commemorate the prettiest time of my life. hahahhahahahhahahahahah ~

太阳花 好美 [random]

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Monday, March 06, 2017


Its a date.

which I will never forget.

Its the day when I received a call from my sister informing me, grandpa has passed away. gone 3.45p.m.

heartbroken, my eyes started to get wet,, so easily. so easy. drops after drops. I did not go back to visit him when he was still half-alive I presumed. from all the descriptions my mum told me through the phone, I assumed his condition was like...the patients I used to see in icu.....

Couldn't think of what should I do, how to react to this news.

I called H and informed him about this news. I broke off in the lift while holding onto my rice box. Couldn't stop tearing...

And so, I reached home. the moment I saw his picture framed and boldered with flowers, I cried again. Mum brought me into the cold room and i saw my grandpa. he used to be bigger than he was. he used to be a strong man.

but he was different. he was tiny.

* * *

The moment my father, my uncles, my brothers and cousins moved him into the coffin. Something struck my eyes. I saw my grandma, crying. my heart was tearing. 

I hate funerals. its my first in the family and I already hated it so much.

It has been 6 days since then.

I must say, life is short. Treasure them well. I believe my grandpa will be better elsewhere C:

I will never forget the bright and cheerful smile he had with those pretty and smart teeth. Also, the way he hold the only gun he had. and also, the moment he tell story about how pretty my grandma was during the younger days and that he married her. 

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Monday, January 02, 2017

Me and 2017

"It's 2nd of January 2017!"

Wow, so fast. Good times always go so quickly. Like a lightning bolt. I love good times.

This year, I want to feel that I give all of my strength, I want to make use of every minutes doing things that benefited myself. Yes, I am selfish. always. 

I want to find myself.

But how?

I want to discover things that I have yet to try. Things that might click in my mind that makes me feel excited everytime I think about. Like how I drank alcohol causing the heart to pump so fast that I ought to feel it outside my body. 

I wanted to increase my knowledge about the world. Whether its stocks, latest news, gossips, literally everything. whether its just a simple as how to use credit card to fuel up. whether how to cook a simple dish. All those little things, I find it easy, and yet to discover it. 

I wanted to learn more chinese words because partly, because I am a Chinese and I think a Chinese who does not know his/her language is like a lost soul who will never get to discover the truth about itself. I felt shameful when I tell people I do not know much Chinese words. In a year, I wanted to be able to tell people that I understand Chinese and maybe, learn some dialects. They said, what makes you and I different is your respective culture, values that we have within ourselves.

I want to spend my time more on readings. All kinds of readings. A-Z please.

Okay I think its time for some readings!

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Saturday, December 31, 2016

Recap 2016 !

Hello everybody! Let me recap what is happening in my life this year, since I happened to be like MIA (missing in action) at times. I am definitely not a good memoriz-er so let me make use of all the pictures I took this year to remember all these :D 


Ups and downs. Play and play. Fly and fly.

Learn how to bake a perfect Japanese cotton cheesecake

Playing and enjoying my life with Emo

Heading to the place I was born

Cook for my cousins lol

Enjoying my day with cousins at grandpa's!


Exercising to reduce fat!


Graduation Day!

No personal picture of my own except that I do not want to show my ugly fat studio picture T_T


Started my first official job ;D


Went to Teluk Kampi for camping!

Yumcha session with fellow brothers hahhahha

Someone was sick T_T


Weekend getaway at a farm (That's a furry rabbit lol)

Gathering with uni friends

Hiked Penang Hill (hell lots of staircases)

Cameron trip with bf's family

Planting my first batch of corns! (ended up tasted not nice T_T)

farewell to one of my colleague

Meet my familywho came to visit in Cameron Highland! :D
Turn out to be our birthdays :D

Visiting MrH's new place :D
Annual dinner which I performed a dance but too lazy to search for the pictures X_X (feeling flu-ish now)
Say Hi!


Mayday's concert !!! Fall in love with their songs after that. (Wanna go again T_T)

Full fledged marathon but overtime O.O (Gonna do it again, perhaps?)
First time oncall (stress!)


No pictures to post. This year has been a life changing year as I started to learn how to responsible to myself, to everyone around, to the surroundings, to my parents, to my lover and so on. I learn how to take care of myself at times, learn how to cope with stress (HARD!!!), learn how to manage my finance, learn how to budget my spendings wisely, and most important thing of all, be happy in what I am doing and giving my best at all times. Hoping 2017 will be another great year!

See you tomorrow 2017! :D

p/s: can't wait to spend my NYE with MrH and the family! 

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Friday, December 16, 2016

The girl with seven names. Definitely a good book.

This is my first fiction book (I always thought fiction is a boring type but uhhh no, this book is not dull at all). The girl with seven names, the title itself already caught my attention and in my mind, I decided to bring it home.

Exactly. My thought was right.

I get bored easily when I read non-fictions (I have tonnes of non fictions back at home, collected them when I was teen) So I decided to try fictions (Well, maybe I was growing up..ahhahah young adult, you name it)

This book makes me wonder why, why a girl has seven names. You gotta read this because so far as I know its a true story. And to name it, I am always wondering how does North Korea looks like. Because its rumours that the country is still in  60s, 70s era while the other countries already in 21st century greatly surprised me when I got to understand it. Hence, I understood after reading this. The politics and all.
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Thursday, December 08, 2016

I got myself a new laptop!

hi new laptop! Wanted to get the pink one but unfortunately they are out of stock and the new batch of stock wont be this price D:

Hey everybody!

I am so happy with my new laptop after being laptop-less for more than a year. Ever since I did the last presentation in my uni, it blackened out right after presentation and I pronounced the death of my 4 years old laptop! Thanks for serving me so long !

And now.....

Rebirth of my new laptop!  and I am blogging using it! Gotta love it more and more. Got to blog more often to revive my blogging life!

Been reading a book entitled "The girl with seven names" which is quite a popular book since its international bestseller. I always believe in the title they gave to the book. Gotta blog about it after finishing it ! :D

Byeh! Gotta do some reading before my sleeping time!
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Thursday, December 01, 2016

How this OKU Uber lady taught me a lesson

I wanted to appreciate myself before the second oncall of the year.

So yeah, appreciate huh. How? By treating myself some "good" food. So off I dashed to Gurney plaza after work to get some xxl size of fried chicken chop which I longed for during the day. (Oh fuck, now I hate chicken chop liao!)  

It was raining. I decided to call Uber. 

Requesting...requesting...nearby drivers...(if you are frequent Uber users you will know what I mean)

So here comes a lady in the picture. It was very rare to see a lady Uber driver (cause you all know what bias we always accuse on lady driver wtf I don't deny that because I am one Hahahha) 

Hey, I waited for her like 5 mins and she reached. I quickly dashed into the car because it was raining and quietly sat behind. 

It was dark already and couldn't really grab the look of the lady driver. Anyway, its okay. So I just sat there and something caught my attention. She was only using her left arm to drive. It was only after a few minutes then I realised that she was handicapped! Handicapped as in she only have one mobilizing arm which is the left arm. (Hell no, I don't know whether she has another arm or what cause I don't want to peek at her which is rather disrespectful though) I looked for something to prove my eyes and confirmed my query. She didn't talk to me at all because well, awkwards. Hahahaha. And I have no idea what to talk about so I remained silent. 

Yes! I realised that there was an OKU sticker placed at the windshield. Then I confirmed that she was really really handicapped because I was not very sure in the first place. 

Okay, I was trying to stay calm because I never sit in an OKU driver's car before. (Not to despise the OKU but just a normal reaction though) 

Well, I reached home safely and having some thoughts here there and I decided to pen this down. (Rainy night makes me think more...)

Experience this quite unusual thing, I would say that I learnt something. I salute her for this! It was rather respectful for her to be able to drive using one arm (that was like God of all drivers in the world wth I have two arms but I can't drive with one arm) and earn for a living despite her disability. 

How many people in this world would really REALLY appreciate what they have in hands in any terms?  

Or can this be the lemonade we make of when life gives us lemon? Or lemon cake? Hahahahha. 

Let us all ponder about it... 

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Monday, November 28, 2016

My first experience on Penang Bridge FULL marathon 2016

Over the past 23 years, the number of marathons I have joined more or less around ten times! All of them are 5km, 10 km, 12km, 8km and 21km(once). 

I took part in FULL marathon(FM). Yesterday. 

One word. What did I learn from this FM.

No pain no gain. Hahahaha! 

I have no idea why I would start joining marathons. But, I feel I need and should do something which is grand, something that I can be proud of. FM it is. Hahahahah! 

The first time I joined marathon was my school marathon. I forget how long was the marathon but I definitely cannot forget I still entitled a consolation prize which was 3 bars of soap when I reached the finishing line. So happy yet so funny I would say, about the soap. Lol what a cheap prize is that. What I really gained is self satisfaction when I still can make it for top 10. Started to doubt about my strength. How far can I go?

Maybe that's when I started to place an interest in marathon. 

I missed the first run in my university because I was scared to run alone, nobody among my female friends were interested in joining. When I realised I need to join it even though I was alone, it was too late to register. Then in the subsequent years, I never miss the run. Hahahaha. Good girl! Cause MrH joined with me! 

And so, here comes the FM.

I woke up abruptly when it was almost the time to go for the run. (Still damn sleepy)

One day before the marathon, my friend who was supposed to run with me told me that she was infected with dengue fever. Feel bad for her. She was the one who initiated my spirit to join FM. I would never thought of joining if its not because of her who asked me, wanna join? I even told her you can do it as long as you don't stop. Then we signed up. 

I was little bit of query whether to go or not when she told me the bad news. 

Nevertheless, I still go for it because I feel I do not want to waste my money and fucking get that finisher t shirt. WTF

Somemore , MrH did it last year. He came back tripping but hey, he did it! Here comes my thought, I also can do it what. Why not? 

And so, off I went. 

Because the road was blocked, I needed to walk to the starting point for a little while. Yes, started my run earlier hahahaha! 

During the entire journey, generally I am talking with myself of all times. 

The first 15km I was running. I did not use any running app but occasionally runners pass by with their app speaking how long did they run. Twice, I was heartbroken when I heard how many km has passed. One was 8km. Another was 12km. What a long journey I still have! 

I fucking hate the slopes to the brigde. 

I reached the starting part of the bridge at 4 am. I was thinking, within another 4.30 mins I think I can finish the whole bridge. I was wrong! 

While I was on the bridge, MrH texted me telling me “加油!相信自己” well, I ran a little after the text. Was delighted why he haven't sleep at this hour then I realised that he just finished watching his football match. Expected. But that run did not stay long. 
Hahahha so sad! Too late to disappoint. 

One thing I felt extremely disappointed is I haven't got to drink even a cup of fucking 100 plus until I reached the bridge. Everytime I saw the water station, there wasn't any 100 plus. They told me, 100 plus next station.  Eventhough the cup printed was 100plus. Cheated my feelings. Economy really that bad huh? 🤔🤔🤔 or maybe I was too late?

I drank two cups of 100 plus in one go when I saw them. 

Yay. I ran a bit after that. 

The timekeeper was never in front of me. Very super de sad. 

They are always opposite me! Felt like dashing to keep up with them but mentally and physically unfit. 

When I finally saw the 30 km signboard, I was like, omfg. Should I be able to finish this in 1 hr and 30 mins? Cause it was 7 am already. 8.30 am was the qualification time. Could I? I started to run after the signboard and stopped to catch my breath. Here comes a guy, who sort of motivated me, he said, 10 km more! Felt motivated for a while. Then we chitchat for a while (I think it was a mistake! I should stop talking and keep running) he tried to chat with me but I wasn't so interested in keeping up the chat. Then he got me a bottle of water and I refused it but then he still pass it to me. I drank half a mouth and threw the bottle away. Cause it was heavy. Sorry! And I was carrying my big pack of gummies which I didn't finish.

I stopped to bend my knees because they have been straight for such a long time. The policeman stopped to tell me, "Miss kalau tak boleh, boleh naik bas nanti." I replied okay okay. Hello! Never in my mind I thought of going back by bus! So embarrassing for myself. My high self esteem will be intoxicated and never recover again! 

The good news is, I did it! The buses went by and it was full of people (very sad ah, they started to go back liao and cleaning the roads) I realised I was very very de late and behind the schedule. 

I finally saw the 5km signboard. Fucking fucking happy and sad as well. It was 8.30am already. TT

I walked, I still didn't make any effort in running. Feet got sore. 

When I saw the 4km signboard, after a while MrH called me, that was around 8.55 am saying faster liao, still can get medal! Ahhahaha he sort of motivated me a little bit but qb is still so far away from my sight TT 

Cursing all the way in my mind haahahhahaha!

So I still put some hope to get those goodies but then, I didn't get it. TT 

Finished the FM in 8 hrs. 

Well, What's done is done. I can only blame myself for not training and not trying very hard for it. 

Maybe, next year? 

Let me think twice. Hahahahaha! 

This is me! still smiling after the FM because no use to cry lol 😂  
This is me without finishing medal and tee but still smiling(if not cry meh) hahahhaha

Perseverance , secret to all triumphs. 
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Thursday, November 24, 2016

What I want to BE?

Hello my readers. Here I am again. Back to this little blog of mine. Well, it's year end again! 

Christmas is coming! 

When it's nearing the end of the year, here comes the thought of new year resolution. (I haven't thought of my new year resolution, hahahah so I wouldn't be blogging about new year resolutions)

I am here to brat (HAHAHAHHA as usual)

Yesterday, someone woke me up not as in that waking up but.... And got me thinking about .....dreams? 

Dream. Dreams. What a word is it. Anyone care to explain?

They said, dreams. 

Dreams and dreams. 

(The more I type this word the more strange I feel, even doubt about the spelling) 

To be honest what is dream? 
According to Meriam Webster dictionary I downloaded in my phone, it says,

-a series of thoughts, visions or feelings that happens during sleep

-an idea or vision is created in your imagination and that is not real

-something that you have wanted very much to do, be or have for a long time 

I guess I am talking about the third meaning. I am surprised by how the this e-dictionary define dream. 

Great, I'm lost. Because I don't know what I really want in life. Or the future life. What I want to contribute to the people. What I want to do with my mundane life. 

Someone told me, "if I don't have a job now, if I don't have anything to do," what will I be doing? 

Hmmm. Deep thoughts. I thought I don't have a definite answer but I was thinking, "maybe I will be writing. A lot of writings. Or drawing." 

Once in a while, I thought of becoming an author because I love to write. As in why I have this blog, because I love to produce good articles and let people to read. I Love to write a lot of things. But becoming an author doesn't pay you every month. I can't! I'm stuck with my study loans and so on. Maybe I should think of other way. (HAHAHAHHA I feel bad writing this because I abandon my blog for such a long long time because...well, life!)

Writing needs experience. Where to find them? I wanted to publish a book but hell, I have no idea what to write.

Well, the bf said, "Start it, just start it. He said, you just need to write, even a paragraph. Every day, then you just need a title for your book. LOL! I can't do that because I need a good reason to start my book! Nobody is gonna read my book. 

Maybe I need to go experience something bigger by my own to get that experience.

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